The Importance of Every Handshake

We’ve all heard “There’s no second chance to make a first impression.” While I fully agree with this,

I would add that there’s no third chance to make a second impression, no fourth chance to make a third impression . . . you get the idea.

I believe that professional relationships are either growing or fading, and that every handshake is a unique opportunity to build. Approaching every interaction with a mindset of building the reputation of you and your department is an effective way to earn respect for your team and to grow your career.

I call this theory “Every Handshake.”

Every Handshake

There are few meaningless interactions in life. There are a couple of times where I’ve realized I will likely never see these individuals again, but social media and our global economy makes the world a much, much smaller place. True anonymity has faded, and it’s become relatively easy to find a connection to just about any professional, in any company, around the world.

Treating every handshake as an opportunity to grow your brand, to impress others, and to earn greater respect for your organization is the best way to operate. If one only tends to ‘important’ relationships, opportunities to make positive impressions on the masses are missed!

First Impressions

When does a first impression occur? Believe it or not, in today’s society it may actually occur before you’ve actually met someone. Allow me to explain.

The interview candidate walks into the corporate headquarters for an interview, and after 10 minutes is escorted to the elevators, upstairs and begins the interview process. There is certainly an opportunity for a first impression with those officially involved in the interview process, but don’t forget the other first impressions that have already been formed. The receptionist has formed a first impression. The secretary who escorted the candidate to the elevator and the interview has formed a first impression. I have dismissed interview candidates from search processes that they were otherwise qualified for, if they mistreated or were ‘cold’ to a receptionist.

Or, you apply for a job with a company in another state. The executive that is handed your resume will see that you and she have six connections in common on a social media site. One of those six connections may actually be your first impression with that company, before you even get a chance to interview!

Malcolm Gladwell said "We don't know where our first impressions come from, or precisely what they mean, so we don't always appreciate their fragility."

What’s the point? Every handshake, every day is important!

A Strong Network

Let me bottom-line it. People need to want to work with you. If you don’t approach each interaction with the intent of building relationships, the strength of your network, and your associated ability to succeed, will be extremely limited.

Doesn’t it make sense to have strong connections in every company department? Doesn’t it make sense to make sure that you effectively network both inside and outside your organization?

The Long-Term Value of a Good Handshake

Allow me to present this concept in a future scenario. Suppose you’ve focused primarily on your immediate department, and only those relationships that are critical to get your daily work completed. You’ve lost touch with prior organizations and have done little networking. Suppose you receive notification that your position will be eliminated in 30 days. How large will your fan base be? How many people will jump in and be anxious to help you find your next opportunity?

Compare this to the individual who treated every handshake as an opportunity to strengthen relations. This pattern included activities both inside and outside of the company. Good connections were made on the golf course. Relationships were built with neighbors, at church, at youth soccer games. The individual who was always in the business of shaking hands, showing a sincere interest in a relationship, and building her personal brand will have a flood of support, maybe even job offers, given the same layoff notification.

What About Bad News?

If the standard is to ‘build’ relationships with every handshake, but each of us will be tasked with sharing bad news or coaching for improved performance. How can that handshake build a relationship?

Consider that each handshake will have a different depth potential. With meaningful, long-term exchanges the multiple handshakes will be very personal and create a deep and lasting impression. On the golf course, provided you’re not an ‘a-hole’ and don’t lose your cool, that handshake can still be extremely positive, but will not have the depth of your longer-term relationships.

With the disciplinary action, or sharing of bad news, that can still be a very respectful exchange, but the depth created by that handshake may be neutral, on occasion. The emotions of some of these meetings (such as a layoff or termination) will likely cause people to momentarily associate you with the decision and may not have positive things to share with others for a time. However, if you truly treat that individual with respect, the impact of that meeting may actually grow from neutral to something even more positive as emotions related to the event fade and the individual moves-on in his career.

The Bottom Line

Although it’s tough to identify your specific number, you will certainly interact with dozens of people TODAY and you have an opportunity to offer a ‘handshake’ and build a relationship.

Treat each of those handshakes with respect, as you never know when that first, second, or hundredth impression might be important to you, to your department or to your organization.